Stiffy Makane: Apocolocyntosis — 108 of 235
One of the Bruces and Drunken Bastard
Part Five - "Temple"
The Temple Courtyard is east of Jerusalem. The description is "It appears to be a slow day at the Temple. The courtyard is empty except for a single moneychanger behind his table, half-dozing in the sun. The Temple itself is to the east. A small sign in front of it warns against entry."
The small sign is scenery in the Temple Courtyard. The description is "'NO DOGS OR GENTILES IN THE TEMPLE ON PAIN OF DEATH.'"
The changer_table is scenery in the Temple Courtyard. The description is "The wooden table has a set of scales on it." The printed name is "table". Understand "table", "wood" and "wooden" as the changer_table. Instead of putting something on the changer_table, try giving the noun to the moneychanger.
The scales are scenery in the Temple Courtyard. The description is "The delicate scales are designed to weigh coins. The moneychanger uses them to determine the value of money he is given." Understand "delicate", "balance", and "scale" as the scales.
The moneychanger is a man in the Temple Courtyard. He is scenery. The description is "The moneychanger is a plump and florid little man, with fat fingers bedecked with rings." The default reply of the moneychanger is "The moneychanger yawns hugely and a little rudely." Understand "changer", "plump", "florid", and "little" as the moneychanger. The conversation of the moneychanger is the Table of Moneychanger's Chatter.
The changer_rings are part of the moneychanger. The printed name is "rings". The description is "The moneychanger clearly values quantity over quality. His fat, piggy fingers are bedizened with gaudy golden rings set with bright but tawdry-looking stones." Understand "fat", "piggy", "finger", "fingers", "hands", "hand", "ring", "rings", "gaudy", "gold", "golden", "bright", "stones", "jewel", "jewels", "bejeweled", "bedizened", "tawdry", "tawdry-looking", and "stone" as the changer_rings.
The five-shekel coin is a thing. The description is "It's a small silver coin worth five shekels." Understand "money", "shekel", "shekels", "five", "silver", and "small" as the five-shekel coin. Instead of rolling the five-shekel coin, say "Money is for spending, not for rolling around on the floor."
Table of Moneychanger's Chatter
| topic | reply | summary | turn stamp |
| "Syra" | "'I remember a girl named Syra. Big nose, big enthusiasm. Yep.'" | "he remembers Syra's nose and enthusiasm" | a number |
| "money/shekel/drachma/drachmae/shekels/five/ten/coin/currency/currencies" or "goyishe currency" or "goyishe currencies" or "five-shekel coin" or "ten-drachma coin" | "'The way this works is, you give me a foreign coin, and I give you a number of shekels equal to its value.'" | "he exchanges foreign coins for shekels" | -- |
| "himself/man/moneychanger" | "'I get by.' He waggles his rings at you." | "he's doing well in his profession" | -- |
| "ring/rings/jewel/jewels/jewelry" | "'Yep. Nice, aren't they?'" | "he's proud of his jewelry" | -- |
| "temple/second" or "second temple" | "'It's the holiest place in Judaism. No Gentiles allowed.'" | "the Temple is the holiest place in Judaism, and Gentiles may not enter" | -- |
Instead of giving or showing the stiffycock to the moneychanger, say "The moneychanger says, 'I honestly have no idea how to value that, [stiffycolor of the stiffycock] glow or no.'"
Instead of giving or showing the five-shekel coin to the moneychanger, say "The moneychanger shakes his head. 'I change goyishe currencies into shekels. Not the other way around.'"
Instead of giving or showing the ten-drachma coin to the moneychanger:
say "The moneychanger weighs the coin carefully, and nicks its edge with a knife to ascertain that it's silver all the way through. He nods, places it in his pocket, and solemnly hands you a five-shekel coin.";
remove the ten-drachma coin from play;
really have the parser notice the five-shekel coin;
move the five-shekel coin to the player.
Instead of giving or showing something to the moneychanger, say "The moneychanger glances at [the noun] and shakes his head. 'I just change money. I don't buy or sell anything.'";
Instead of touching, rubbing, sucking, fucking, blowing, buggering, kissing, or wanking off the moneychanger:
say "The moneychanger flaps his hands. 'Nope! Not my thing!' he exclaims.".
Instead of attacking the moneychanger, say "Memo to Stiffy: you're not Jesus[36 as a footnote]."
Before going east in the Temple Courtyard for the first time:
say "Your eye is caught by a sign, in many languages, Greek and Latin among them, that says 'NO DOGS OR GENTILES IN THE TEMPLE ON PAIN OF DEATH.'";
stop the action.
Before going east in the Temple Courtyard:
say "[if the tallis is worn and the fake beard is worn]Your faith in your disguise turns out to have been grossly misplaced. Y[otherwise]Well, y[end if]ou can't say you weren't warned.";
end the story saying "You have died.";